Growing up there were 2 types girls: those who “liked” Barbie and those who “lived” Barbie. Me?? Oh, I was L-I-V-I-N Barbie! The dream houses, the corvettes, the boats, the RV, the clothes-I had it all.

So…when I stumbled upon Allan at a fabulously cluttered vintage shop in Brevard, North Carolina called Underground Salvage Co., I was transported back. The truth is, I didn’t know who Allan was until the brilliant Director, Greta Gerwig brought Barbie to the big screen last Summer. Allan was before my time and lucky for him because my Barbie world (similar to the movie) was not a cozy spot for Ken. This was not a grand statement. This was just the facts of my childhood household.

You see I had a dog and brothers (lots of brothers). Most of my Ken dolls were missing a head and a few limbs. My German Shepherd had an affinity towards Ken over Barbie. The dog would behead the man in two seconds flat! Additionally my brothers loved to torture my pristine Barbie world and nobody was safe, not even Barbie. It would get particularly bleak when the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles would get involved (but, that’s another tale for another time). You get the gist…dismemberbed Ken(s) and Barbie(s) were the norm.

I wasn’t necessarily thrilled about this horrific situation but missing limbs just rolled into the dramatic plot lines.

And…let me tell you, the plot lines were juicy! My Barbie world was tough. Divorce, adultery, murder, and fighting plagued my plastic creatures. Jumping off the top of the Dream House to a gruesome death was just another Tuesday. It was a far cry from what Mattel advertised. My Barbie world was dark.

I know what you’re thinking. Clearly, these plot lines were a direct result of childhood trauma. “How could a child create such a chaotic world?”.

Although, I proudly boast an ACE Score of 6; we’re not here to talk about childhood trauma. Actually, I’m here to blow the roof off of trauma. Trauma is stealing way too much of the limelight these days. Most of us have it and frankly, we need to turn our attention back to something else that has somehow slipped through the cracks of our collective memories…

Soap Operas. Daytime Television or what most refer to as SOAPS!

Yes, we have grossly underestimated the role of Soaps in the lives of women. If you were a kid in the early 1980’s to mid-1990’s–you know exactly what I’m talking about!

My household’s drug of choice was “General Hospital” and “The Young & the Restless” (Y&R for short). I consumed this media via a minuscule television in our kitchen. This tiny TV was shoved in a corner, lived on the counter and… it was always on. I would race home from school, pop a Hot Pocket in the microwave, pull up a chair to our counter and watch “General Hospital”; whilst shoving prepackaged deliciousness into my face. It was a glorious time.

Those afternoons watching Soaps gave me endless plot lines. This is where I learned that a “face slap” can indeed make a valid point, reincarnation is REAL and it is 100% possible to awake from a 18 month coma, peel off the bandages from 3rd degree burns, only to realize you are more beautiful than before that terrible accident!!!

Basically, Soaps reinforced my knowledge that life is hard but also solidified my belief that anything is possible. Anything!

Daytime Television gave me all the content I needed for my Barbie world. It wasn’t all gloom and doom, I promise. There were many happy times in the Dream House too. Lots of outfit changes, fashion shows and delirious hours looking for that one missing Barbie high heel (man, those things were maddening!)

But, childhood is short and I moved on. My Barbies eventually moved on to younger neighbors and bargain boxes. Daytime Television moved on as well (We can blame OJ Simpson for that one. That White Bronco chase took over Daytime Television which morphed into the trial taking over TV. Also, Mattel didn’t make a White Bronco for Barbie. Bummer.)

Then…reality TV was born and the rest is history.

Today, there are 3 Soap Operas running daily. This is a far cry from the heyday of Daytime TV. Soap stars and plot lines once littered every magazine cover. Now, there’s only a small scattering of publications at the grocery check-out counter that cover Daytime. Magazines have moved on to: Taylor Swift, Real Housewives, celebrities, cooking and politics. There is a general sentiment that Soaps are dead.

And, until recently, Barbie was on her way to the grave as well only to be revived by Barbie’s Big Screen debut in 2023.

I am forever grateful that Barbie has gotten a second wind for the new generation and although Daytime Television’s glory days are over; a small thread will hang on to show future generations the real meaning of melodrama. Y&R, The Bold & the Beautiful and General Hospital are the last one’s standing…thank goodness for cult followings!

The valuable teachings I learned from both the Barbie world and the world of Soaps influence how I raise my daughters and the lessons I pass down.

Six Lessons Learned:

1. Yes! YOU can be a Mom, Doctor, President, Actress, Veterinarian, Astronaut, Teacher (Just not ALL in one episode. You will burn out and the costume changes take too long!)
2. If you make a mistake, you can just rewrite the script. Tomorrow is another scene. Plus, people forget what happened in the previous episode anyway.
3. Material possessions are just minutia. You never know when the RV will be accidentally donated to Goodwill or the Dream House destroyed by outside forces.
4. Don’t spend crazy money on shoes! They get broken, lost, and/or hurt too much.
5. Nobody gets left out. Everyone gets worked into the script no matter their circumstance–even if they’ve lost all their limbs and head–make it work. Dolls can’t frivolously be replaced for newer ones. We don’t have the budget for that!
6. Befriend the Allan. Hire the Allan. Marry the Allan. He may not be as cool as Ken but everyone needs an Allan in life.

(**if you do not know what an ACE score is you are either: a) extremely blessed or b) in a state of blissful denial. Either way I applaud you and there is nothing to be ashamed of. (Click here if you are curious.)